Earl’s Pearl Necklace of Wisdom

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

earl_strickland_02 Ok, if you didn’t get to see this article about Johnny Archer and Earl Strickland in the Wilamette Week paper, you seriously have to click over and read it.  This is some seriously funny stuff.  For those who don’t trust me (isn’t that just about everyone?) here are a few snips from the article:

“Johnny “The Scorpion” Archer breaks an eight-ball rack like he is having savage, powerful sex. I break a rack like your baby sister.”

“Strickland, 47, is not a good teacher. He reminds me of Will Ferrell’s film persona Ron Burgundy, if Burgundy played nine-ball.”

“I quickly realize I am dealing with a rare breed of human, a narcissist with an affinity for verbal abuse. My favorite one-liner of the day: ‘My cue is like a Cadillac and y’all are driving Volkswagens.” Turning to me, he adds, “Your cue isn’t worth 10 cents.’”

The closing quotes from the article are beyond priceless:

“Archer turns to me and says, “What is it with Portland women?” He is wearing a black T-shirt that says “The Scorpion” on the front and back, and he is drinking a Bud Light.

“What do you mean?” I say.

“Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind hefty women, but I would say 95 percent of the girls in this town have bellies that are too close to the dinner table.”

“Careful, motherfucker, he’s writing a story on you,” says Cantrill.

“Think I give a fuck? What’s he gonna say, ‘Johnny don’t like hefty women?’”

Johnny don’t like hefty women.”